A bitter sweet kiss. That’s all it took. Bitter because it was wrong, yet sweet because it was with him. Forgiveness is hardest to obtain. It takes a bowl of love, a pinch of history and a generous topping of trust. Being honest can only take you so far though. And I know I’ve reached that limit. I’m out of second chances. What someone doesn’t know can’t hurt them...Or can it? This was deep, even for me. Maybe it was the push. Maybe it was the bitter sweet taste of his lips; maybe it was my old shallow state of mind finally being put to rest. Because that taste, that jolt. And he puts me deeper under his spell. And suddenly it occurs to me how weak I truly am. 

Envy

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You could say that I envied her. Her perfect teeth, glamorous body. You could say that I was vulnerable to the subtle lies of men. Not as she. You could say that I was a grade more oblivious then her, then anybody really. You could even say that I wasn't seen under the same light as she. Not as if my mother's constant need for comparison didn't make me feel any worse, but her mother's lack of it made it almost illicit for me to see her as anything but superior to what I could ever imagine myself being. You could say that she was sure of herself. And you could see how I envied her for her assurance. So yes, you wouldn't just say that I envied her, but you would believe it. Lest did I know that surety was far from her heart, how her only true breathtaking attribute was her ability to conceal. The beautiful mask she wore, of a strong independent, sure young lady. The day she took it off, I will never forget...

I guess this is me.. in words.

So I guess I have a lot of thoughts and it's kind of hard to put them all together. I'm almost 16 years old and I go to high school. But if you think this is going to be one of those cheesy "omg hes sooooooo cute!" type of blogs. Yeah I know I'm young, these feelings are all hormone crazed teenager feelings but I can assure you I won't present it to you in a manner so uncivil. All these posts in one way or another piece together into a story. My story. But remember, things aren't always black and white like they seem to be.
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