I saw him today... He was with his friends..some I knew. Some I didn't. He didn't notice me at first, I was making my way down the escalator. I had a clear birds eye view of the entire food court, he was making his way to the narrow alleyway that led to the bathroom between the wall and the escalator (you know.. The one I was on). And somehow he looked up and found me... Our eyes locked. He waved and smiled. I was surprised, I thought he hated me by now. It was a nice wave, cute even, dare I say. The gesture held so many meanings. It said 'hey, i know it's been a while, but I still remember you'. That wave made my day... It's pretty amazing how someone could have that much of an affect on you... But what can I say, I remembered him too..
"Just do me a favour" she said"...Don't ever fall in love". I asked her why she would ever say such a thing. Love, well to my one track mind, is beautiful. It's the one thing that keeps everything in life moving."everything moving?" She said. "How so? How it eats you away in your sleep, how you end up with daydreaming eyes hoping for things that you know will never happen. How it gives someone, to whom you are completely insignificant, the power to reign over you, the power to break you in two. It is a drug. it tears you apart day by day and i ask Why can't he simply be addicted to me like I am to him...it's simple." I took two steps forward before responding "maybe it isn't love that tears you apart.... But the lack of receiving that same love back. " she turned around and started to slowly walk away and even though she whispered I could still hear her mumble "we accept the love we think we deserve". And she was gone...
Maybe if I close my eyes for long enough I can imagine the unimaginable. Imagine the value in myself that no one ever saw… if it ever existed to begin with. If I close my eyes and simply breathe in the rush of warm air that gracefully laces the creases of my skin and into my face… maybe then I will feel some sensory, maybe my numbed veins will begin to defrost and slowly melt into what they were meant to be. Could my brain possibly control every inch of my being? Maybe if I close my eyes I can imagine the unimaginable… But if I close my eyes, who will guarantee that they will ever open again...