It's all I see. The bad, the bold, the beautiful. Where is the ugly? I walk in vain search for the face that makes me shy away in disgust, a smile that makes my eyes burn a searing pain and cry salty water. I walk or run whichever it was. The disgust, the paranoia, the ugly are no where to be found, I cannot see it. The others walk as in peace of mind, as if they have already come to close realization of where they might be found! I cannot find it! I panic. Will no one show me? And I ask and I beg and I plead to be heard, for my questions to be answered! But they only glance down and walk away shyly. I fall to my knees and let the gavel sink into my skin. If I cannot find the ugly, then the ugly is me. The disgust, the paranoia is me? The pathetic? Yes, the pathetic is me.... The pathetic had always been me.

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I guess this is me.. in words.

So I guess I have a lot of thoughts and it's kind of hard to put them all together. I'm almost 16 years old and I go to high school. But if you think this is going to be one of those cheesy "omg hes sooooooo cute!" type of blogs. Yeah I know I'm young, these feelings are all hormone crazed teenager feelings but I can assure you I won't present it to you in a manner so uncivil. All these posts in one way or another piece together into a story. My story. But remember, things aren't always black and white like they seem to be.
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